Learn from Siblings & use them for support

I have many siblings in my family of whom I look up to, one of which is my younger sister. She has this self-confidence and energy that radiates from her. She has incredible motivation and personality that I envy. She is extraverted, happy, social, mindful, smart, pretty, committed, & everything I want to be.
When we were younger, on a family vacation to Vail, My sister and I ran up from the car to the condominium ahead of everyone in excitement. I had a key to the condominium and tried to get it to work, however I broke the key and part of the key was stuck in the lock. I was maybe twelve years old and my sister must have been eight. She took the blame as others in the family came up because I think she could see my self-hatred and embarrassment for doing something wrong. The key stuck in the door wasn’t a huge crisis but to me, doing something wrong and not being perfect was my ultimate fear. Well as she took the blame, I gained so much insight into her personality. She was intuitive and caring and not to mention strong enough with her self-worth to take the fault. I felt like a little weak soul at that point and from then on, I respected her more than she knows now.
My eating disorder and cutting has hurt this relationship in many ways that I don’t even know about. Nevertheless, this one event sticks with me and makes me want to recover.

I remember when I was in High School my sister and I always went to lunch together. We used to play stupid games like blowing a pencil on the floor back and forth to each other, or ride in the car listening to music. At this point in time, my eating disorder and my other self-destructive behaviors where a complete secret, or so I thought. However, I think she knew. She always knew me. But once I got into college and was on my own I took advantage of the isolation and ability to diet how I wanted and I think this hurt so many of my family members and friends because I was in this spiral that became my religion. All I cared about no matter who I hurt was what I ate. By the time sister confronted me about my low weight it was too late. I was less than 95 pounds and completely obsessed or maybe addicted to the complexities of my ED life.
I started lying. I started lying a lot to hide my ED and self-destructive behaviors. If I could go back in time, I would instead use my sister and other siblings as a source of support rather than hide from them. I would talk to them about it because I am sure they had similar feelings that I did but they had better outlets that I could have learned.
The Point:
*Sorry for this long story, but a part of my recovery is to stop lying about my issues and keep to honesty about myself. The more secrecy the more ED takes over.
*I am going to invite discussions about difficulties and troubles as they occur rather than hide from them. I hope to utilize my relationship with my siblings as I do with Paul to keep on a healthy related track.
*I am going to observe my siblings healthy responses to stress and use them as role models. For example, my sister goes horseback riding when she encounters stress. Even if I clean the horse that may help. Alternatively, maybe I could take my dog Macy to a sheep herding facility and use that as an outlet.

Anyway, I’ll add more later…